I recently discovered that one of my co-workers has been unfairly criticizing me behind my back to the boss. How should I handle this situation?

There is a Native American saying that goes, "If the moon listened to all the little dogs that bark at it, it would not bother to come out at night." It's no secret that harsh criticism can be not only disturbing, but also debilitating. So take a deep breath, and consider your options.

You basically have two choices: Ignore these slurs or respond to them. If you ignore them, the problem may simply vanish on its own. Indeed, if your boss hasn't acted on any accusations yet, he or she may be simply letting your critic vent.

But if you sense that your boss is buying into it, you may need to act. I would start by meeting with your accuser. Let the person know you understand there are concerns you feel you should address. Listen carefully to what's said, and if any part of it is valid, acknowledge it, and, if necessary, apologize. Then, explain what corrective action you intend to take.

However, if the accusations seem more spiteful than sensible, firmly but calmly state that they are not true, and leave the matter there. Then, I would suggest meeting with your boss to thoroughly explain the situation and assess the damage, as well as to find a way to resolve the problem.

Whatever happens, take heart in another old saying, that the only way "To avoid criticism, [is to] do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing."