One member of my staff cannot make the smallest decision without needing me to help her. Is there some way to encourage her to be more decisive?

In every relationship involving two people there are moments where expectations differ between them about their behavior. I call those moments a "pinch." A pinch is a moment of discomfort where we realize that what we see happening in the relationship is different from what we thought was going to happen.

It's tempting to ignore the pinch and hope it goes away. However, if these moments go unaddressed, the pinch results in lack of clarity, more ambiguity, and additional mistrust. The key to dealing with pinches is to start with those expectations. Sit down with the staffer and discuss very clearly with her what you each expect to happen when she's making decisions in the future. For example: You could tell her she seems to be coming to you often for unneeded assistance in making decisions, even small ones that she is more than capable of handling on her own. Remind her that one of the primary reasons she's on your team is to make those choices independent of you.

You might help jump-start the process and increase her confidence by suggesting one or two items that she can act on now. Once that's set into motion, offer to give her any help she needs to meet your expectations. By doing this you'll not only reduce distractions from your own work, but also increase her empowerment. E